This is the story of the birth of my second son, Damien. My first son, Caelen, was born two and a half years earlier in a hospital in Florida, with a midwife attending. I gave birth to Damien at home in Ireland with an independent midwife, Mary Cronin.
Early Labour
For the last few months of my pregnancy I had very strong and frequent Braxton-Hicks contractions – as this had happened with my first pregnancy as well I didn’t really take too much notice of them. On the morning of the 14th of November, 2000 (about two weeks before my due date), I was lying awake in bed and the contractions seemed to be very regular and stronger than normal, though still not painful. The thought briefly crossed my mind that “this was it” but I dismissed it quickly – I had been two weeks early with my first son, I was sure I couldn’t be lucky enough for that to happen again!
I kept myself very busy that morning – we were in the process of building our house and I was organising the details. At one point, I was in a shop ordering pipes and wire for the men putting piping in our front lawn when I really felt the contractions coming on strong, but they were still only what I would describe as really strong pre-labour contractions. Later, when I was cooking lunch for Caelen, I had the first contraction that felt to me like real labour, but I still wasn’t sure! I waited for a few more before I called my husband, Joe, and said “I think I might be in labour but I’m not sure!” He had been planning on working late that day but he decided to come home early instead – probably a good thing. I also called my midwife, Mary, just to let her know that there might be some action.
The rest of the day passed uneventfully, occasional contractions fairly far apart with updates by phone every few hours to Mary. That night I was lying on the floor putting Caelen to sleep and I started to wonder if this labour was ever going to take off! It was dramatically different from my first birth experience – with Caelen, my waters broke at 4:30 in the morning and by 12:30 (noon) he had been born. I though that I should try to get some rest if this labour was going to be drawn out, but when I went to lie down the contractions were just frequent enough to keep me awake. To pass the time, Joe and I went downstairs and played a game of Trivial Pursuit. Every time it was my turn to ask a question I had a contraction! They were still holding steady at about 6 minutes apart but they were getting really strong and lasting for ages.
Things pick up (for a while!)
At around two a.m. I was talking to Mary and asking her if there was anything I could do to hurry things up a bit, and she asked if I had tried a bath yet. This seemed like a good idea to me so we ran the bath and low and behold before I even got into the bath the contractions had picked up to three minutes apart!
I actually didn’t find it any easier to handle the contractions in the bath – I preferred being able to move around more – so I got out. The contractions seemed to be staying at three minutes apart and I felt like I needed Mary there. She arrived, with Ell Marie Coleman (who was working with her at the time), at three, maybe four a.m. (my sense of time was gone at this point!) When she examined me I was over half way dilated so everyone just sat back and waited for things to progress.
After a little while the contractions seemed to slow down. I was trying to keep walking and moving so that they would keep going, but I was getting really tired. We were all in the sitting room – Joe was resting in one armchair, Ell-Marie in another and Mary on the couch. After what seemed like hours pacing up and down the sitting room, Mary suggested that I take a rest and we would worry about the contractions after that. That was the best suggestion that I had heard all night! I lied down for an hour of much needed rest.
While I was taking my rest Joe organised a babysitter to come collect Caelen. As nice as the idea of having him at the birth seemed, it was just not practical for us. Every time I went onto my hands and knees for a contraction he would jump on my back thinking I was playing horsy with him! That, added to the fact that he insisted on shining a flashlight into my eyes, did not make him the ideal labour companion. Once he had left, the house was once again quiet, I was feeling well-rested, and it was time to get the labour going again.
The Birth
Mary made up a herbal mixture for me to take every fifteen minutes to stimulate the uterus – it worked, my contractions started up again nice and strong. By ten or eleven o’clock I was fully dilated but my waters still hadn’t broken. At this point Mary asked if I wanted to go ahead and break them or if I wanted to wait. I decided to go ahead and let her break them as I was only getting more tired and the sooner we finished the better. When she broke them there was no big gush of fluid – just a slow trickle, so there must have already been a slow leak somewhere up high on the membrane letting some of the fluid out.
Within ten minutes of breaking my water I had the first really huge contraction and I let out a big moan. Mary got all excited and said “Now we’re getting places!” I really started feeling panicky at this point and suddenly felt like I couldn’t do it. Up to this point the contractions were manageable and I felt as though I was still in control. However now, in order to get the baby out, I had to give up that control and let my body just get on with it – I found this very difficult to do.
Luckily my body was kind to me and my contraction came very far apart (every 5 or 10 minutes!) I was kneeling in front of the sofa and sat down on my heels between each contraction. For my previous birth I was pushing while lying on my back, which was unbearable. This time I really felt the baby moving downwards every time there was a contraction and the progress was far quicker. As Damien’s head came out my husband was kneeling behind so he actually got to catch him as he came out – much to his surprise!
After the birth my first request was for my glasses so that I could see the little boy, and the next was for the light to be turned on so that I could see him better! (For the actual birth the curtains were closed and there were only candles lighting in the room, which I found made it much easier for me to just lose myself to the birth.)
After the birth, Damien and I snuggled down until he seemed a little more settled and he nursed a little. At this point we went ahead and cut the cord and I knelt up and passed the placenta. Ell-Marie had filled a lovely warm bath for me with some relaxing essential oils and I just sunk in. Joe and Mary cleaned Damien up a little and wrapped him up until I came back. I snuggled up on the sofa (where I spent the rest of the day) and a short while later Caelen came home from the babysitter’s with a birthday card and balloon for his little brother. He was pretty fascinated by the little man and by how small he was.
For me, home birth was a beautiful, positive experience. I feel very fortunate that I could give birth in an intimate, private place, and that I didn’t have to leave Caelen to go into hospital for several days – I think that would have been a very traumatic way of introducing him to a new sibling. If (when?) we have another child – I certainly hope it’s at home!
This article is not a substitute for professional advice or care.